Political Humor

The Latest From Late Night Comedians

Jay Leno: "MSNBC is reporting that the Department of Homeland Security wants all 80 million of America's recreational boaters to be on the lookout for terrorists in small boats trying to explode a nuclear bomb. I don't believe it. What are we paying, $50 billion a year for homeland security? All they can come up with is three drunks on a waverunner in Lake Havasu?"

Jay Leno: "Well, the State Department announced today the most dangerous place in the world, no longer the Mideast; it is now between Reverend Jeremiah Wright and a microphone."

Jay Leno: "Of course, the Republicans will not let this Reverend Wright controversy die. You know, they're trying to keep it in the news. Like, today they said for the wedding of President Bush's daughter, he's going to be the minister."

David Letterman: "How about that John McCain? ... I like John McCain. He looks like the kind of guy that walks into Circuit City and says, 'Do you have typewriter ribbons?'"

Conan O'Brien: "Tomorrow night on Fox News, Hillary Clinton is going to be making her first ever appearance on Bill O'Reilly's show, 'The O'Reilly Factor.' Yeah. Yeah, Hillary should do well, because she has years of experience yelling, 'Shut up, Bill!'"

Conan O'Brien: "Today, President Bush gave a news conference about the economy, but he stubbornly refused to say the word recession. ... Instead, President Bush said our country is headed towards something with three syllables that rhymes with refression."

From US News & World Report. Date: April 30, 2008